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Learn How to Prepare and to Search for Family Members Separated by Adoption


Created and taught by an adoptee in reunion


Gather and learn powerful search tools and techniques


Learn to prepare for success and disappointment


Strategies for being successful when reaching out


Advice and guidance for reunion

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Gather all the tools you will need to be successful in your search and learn how to use them effectively.
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Having the right tools to conduct a search is the difference between it taking potentially weeks or months compared to years or even decades.

There are incredibly powerful tools available for searching for lost family. We help you gather these tools, show you how to set them up, and then teach you how to use them.

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Learn strategies and mindset for reaching out and connecting that will maximise your chances for success!
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There is a great deal to consider when embarking on a search for birth parents or children given up for adoption. We are part of an adoption triangle which includes the child, the birth parents, and the adoptive parents. What one part of the triangle does, especially during a search, has a profound effect on the other two parts. We need to consider this before starting our search.

These considerations can inform our strategies for reaching out and making contact with family on the other side of the veil. We offer strategies for reaching out which can help maximise the potential for a positive outcome.

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Connection and Reunion is really only the first step. Join our ongoing private support group to get help and advice.
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Sometimes when a search goes on for years and years, we lose sight of why we are searching in the first place. We become so focused on piercing the veil and making contact that when it finally happens, we realise we haven’t given much thought to what to do beyond making contact. Are there relationships to pursue? Are there emotions to work through? How do we deal with those who are resisting contact?

Adoptive reunion isn’t an event; it’s a state of being that is always shifting, moving, and evolving- just like any other family relationship. There is a lot to do! Making contact is only the first (big) step!

Course Overview

According to our instructor, Derek Grimm, the Search Find Become Course contains ‘everything I wish that I had known, and all the tools I wish I had access to when I started my own search for my birth parents‘.

The course is structured on the experience of an adoptee who has been through the frustrations, the obstacles, the mistakes, and the successes of his own journey towards finally breaking through and connecting with both sides of his birth family.

Derek’s experience and knowledge will guide you on your journey and help you avoid many of the frustrations, obstacles, and mistakes that stretched his search out for more than three decades.

The Search Find Become Course offers everything you need to give you the best chance for succeeding in your own search and beyond as you begin building relationships with those you have finally found.

What You Get


An Adoptee Instructor who has succeeded in his own search


Gather and learn to use the most powerful search tools


Learn how to prepare for both good and bad outcomes


Strategies to maximise a positive response when reaching out


Advice on what to do once you are in reunion

Course Structure


Module 0: Introduction

  • Lesson One: Welcome
  • Lesson Two: My Story
  • Lesson Three: What to Expect From this Course
  • Lesson Four: What Path Will you Take?
  • Lesson Five: Course Housekeeping

Module 1: Prepare

  • Lesson One: Adoption Trauma- Dealing With Loss
  • Lesson Two: Consider Your Adoptive Family
  • Lesson Three: Consider your Birth Family
  • Lesson Four: Consider Yourself

Module 2: Search

  • Lesson One: Gather Your Tools
  • Lesson Two: Adoption Records
  • Lesson Three: DNA Test
  • Lesson Four: Family Tree
  • Lesson Five: Social Media
  • Lesson Six: More tools

Module 3: Find

  • Lesson One: How Do We Search
  • Lesson Two: Mining Your Adoption Records
  • Lesson Three: DNA Relatives
  • Lesson Four: Building Your Tree
  • Lesson Five: Newspapers/Obituaries
  • Lesson Six: Social Media

Module 4: Reaching Out

  • Lesson One: Types of Contact
  • Lesson Two: Verify
  • Lesson Three: Prepare Yourself
  • Lesson Four: Isolate
  • Lesson Five: Dealing with a Closed Door

Module 5: Become

  • Lesson One: Intro
  • Lesson Two: Building Relationships
  • Lesson Three: Rebuilding Your Identity
  • Lesson Four: The New You
  • Lesson Five: Cautions
  • Lesson Six: Support Groups

Module 6: Bonus Content

  • Interviews with Adoptees, Birth Parents, and Adoptive Parents
  • Country/Province/State Specific Resources

Frequently Asked Questions

Will you search for me?
Your instructor will not do the search for you. The course is designed to give you the skills and the tools you need to do the search yourself. You will however, get lots of advice and support, as well as powerful resources in case you get stuck or stalled.
Can you guarantee that I will be successful in my search?
As much as we would love to be able to guarantee this, it’s just not possible. There are as many different situations and emotions as there are people searching. We can give you the tools, the mindset, and the preparation to give you the best possible chance not only for finding who you are looking for, but for being successful when you try to connect.

Ultimately though, there is no way to guarantee how people will react. That, unfortunately, is the nature of the journey we are on.

How long will my search take?
The length of time your search takes will depend greatly on how easy it is for you to get information such as adoption records, how receptive people are to your queries, and a hundred other frustrating big and little obstacles. This is part of the journey. It can take weeks, it can take months, it can even take years. Everyone’s journey is different and unique to them and their circumstances.
What if I start my search and then decide to stop?
Your search is your own. Many people find that they have to back off from their search for a time, and then take it up again when they feel ready. There is nothing wrong with that whatsoever! Even if you decide not to move forward at all, it is always your journey and your decision.
How long will I have access to the Search Find Become Course?
Searches can take months and sometimes years. You will have the course for as long as you need or want it. Once you purchase the course you will have lifetime access to it!
My adoption was closed. Does that mean my birth parents don't want contact?
Until relatively recently, a vast majority of adoptions were closed. “Closed” describes the nature of the adoption; meaning no contact either way, it DOES NOT necessarily describe the feelings of your biological parents. A closed adoption is the reason you have to search in the first place, and often it’s also the reason that the search can be so difficult.

Meet Your Instructor

Derek Grimm is a 2nd generation adoptee born in Calgary, Canada and adopted at birth. He began his journey in his late teens little realising that it would take him 35 years before he would finally succeed in piercing the veil and making contact with both sides of his birth family.

The experience he has gained through the years of his search, the successes, and the lessons he learned from the mistakes he made form the backbone of the Search Find Become course. The skills he learned are now the keys to unlocking the gates to your own journey of discovery and origins.

Derek feels very strongly that the best way to honour the gifts he received as part of his search and reunion, is to pay it forward and help those who are embarking on their own search, in hopes that not only will they find what they are looking for, but that it won’t take 35 years like it did him!

Search Find Become Course Instructor
I wish I had this information when I started searching for my birth mother. Search Find Become is a godsend! I am using this course to find my birth father.


Start Your Journey today!

Every journey begins with a first step. Get the Search Find Become Course now to begin your own epic life-changing journey!