Having the right tools to conduct a search is the difference between it taking potentially weeks or months compared to years or even decades.
There are incredibly powerful tools available for searching for lost family. We help you gather these tools, show you how to set them up, and then teach you how to use them.
There is a great deal to consider when embarking on a search for birth parents or children given up for adoption. We are part of an adoption triangle which includes the child, the birth parents, and the adoptive parents. What one part of the triangle does, especially during a search, has a profound effect on the other two parts. We need to consider this before starting our search.
These considerations can inform our strategies for reaching out and making contact with family on the other side of the veil. We offer strategies for reaching out which can help maximise the potential for a positive outcome.
Sometimes when a search goes on for years and years, we lose sight of why we are searching in the first place. We become so focused on piercing the veil and making contact that when it finally happens, we realise we haven’t given much thought to what to do beyond making contact. Are there relationships to pursue? Are there emotions to work through? How do we deal with those who are resisting contact?
Adoptive reunion isn’t an event; it’s a state of being that is always shifting, moving, and evolving- just like any other family relationship. There is a lot to do! Making contact is only the first (big) step!
According to our instructor, Derek Grimm, the Search Find Become Course contains ‘everything I wish that I had known, and all the tools I wish I had access to when I started my own search for my birth parents‘.
The course is structured on the experience of an adoptee who has been through the frustrations, the obstacles, the mistakes, and the successes of his own journey towards finally breaking through and connecting with both sides of his birth family.
Derek’s experience and knowledge will guide you on your journey and help you avoid many of the frustrations, obstacles, and mistakes that stretched his search out for more than three decades.
The Search Find Become Course offers everything you need to give you the best chance for succeeding in your own search and beyond as you begin building relationships with those you have finally found.
What You Get
An Adoptee Instructor who has succeeded in his own search
Gather and learn to use the most powerful search tools
Learn how to prepare for both good and bad outcomes
Strategies to maximise a positive response when reaching out
Advice on what to do once you are in reunion
Module 0: Introduction
- Lesson One: Welcome
- Lesson Two: My Story
- Lesson Three: What to Expect From this Course
- Lesson Four: What Path Will you Take?
- Lesson Five: Course Housekeeping
Module 1: Prepare
- Lesson One: Adoption Trauma- Dealing With Loss
- Lesson Two: Consider Your Adoptive Family
- Lesson Three: Consider your Birth Family
- Lesson Four: Consider Yourself
Module 2: Search
- Lesson One: Gather Your Tools
- Lesson Two: Adoption Records
- Lesson Three: DNA Test
- Lesson Four: Family Tree
- Lesson Five: Social Media
- Lesson Six: More tools
Module 3: Find
- Lesson One: How Do We Search
- Lesson Two: Mining Your Adoption Records
- Lesson Three: DNA Relatives
- Lesson Four: Building Your Tree
- Lesson Five: Newspapers/Obituaries
- Lesson Six: Social Media
Module 4: Reaching Out
- Lesson One: Types of Contact
- Lesson Two: Verify
- Lesson Three: Prepare Yourself
- Lesson Four: Isolate
- Lesson Five: Dealing with a Closed Door
Module 5: Become
- Lesson One: Intro
- Lesson Two: Building Relationships
- Lesson Three: Rebuilding Your Identity
- Lesson Four: The New You
- Lesson Five: Cautions
- Lesson Six: Support Groups
Module 6: Bonus Content
- Interviews with Adoptees, Birth Parents, and Adoptive Parents
- Country/Province/State Specific Resources
Frequently Asked Questions
Will you search for me?
Can you guarantee that I will be successful in my search?
Ultimately though, there is no way to guarantee how people will react. That, unfortunately, is the nature of the journey we are on.
How long will my search take?
What if I start my search and then decide to stop?
How long will I have access to the Search Find Become Course?
My adoption was closed. Does that mean my birth parents don't want contact?
Meet Your Instructor
The experience he has gained through the years of his search, the successes, and the lessons he learned from the mistakes he made form the backbone of the Search Find Become course. The skills he learned are now the keys to unlocking the gates to your own journey of discovery and origins.
Derek feels very strongly that the best way to honour the gifts he received as part of his search and reunion, is to pay it forward and help those who are embarking on their own search, in hopes that not only will they find what they are looking for, but that it won’t take 35 years like it did him!